IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Nowadays, the welfare of
people
Use synonyms
 has become an essential topic in some
countries
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 can live longer than in the past. The high
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 of the population is an issue for the
government
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that having a large number of senior
people
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for
countries
Use synonyms
. Having a large number of senior
people
Use synonyms
 are benefit in some
countries
Use synonyms
. They have a lot of experience with stories in the past, that may share
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the next generation. Indeed, it should be
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 opportunity for young
people
Use synonyms
 to obtain
this
Linking Words
 information.
For instance
Linking Words
, the ex-military commander might be shared about war strategy and how to get a victory in the war situation.
However
Linking Words
, having a lot of senior
people
Use synonyms
 makes
people
Use synonyms
 easier to transfer their experience to take care of historical values.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is some issue that may drive
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
 for the
government
Use synonyms
. The
government
Use synonyms
 must allocate more budget for senior
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 welfare. Indeed most elder
people
Use synonyms
 may already retired.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 need to guarantee
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living cost
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 elder
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as health service, transport
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 monthly income.
However
Linking Words
, these issue causes
budget
Add an article
a budget
show examples
 problem for the 
government
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, as long as the
government
Use synonyms
 budget has
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good control with subsidy from any sector, that would overcome these issues.
To conclude
Linking Words
, sharing the story
came up
Verb problem
apply
show examples
from senior
people
Use synonyms
 would be essential
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there is
also
Linking Words
 a drawback that may occur in some
countries
Use synonyms
. To overcome these issues the
government
Use synonyms
 play a key role in handling them by implementing good control.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: