Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are many interests and lessons that can be taken by students in the world, some of them are art and music. Some people think that the government ought to fund these activities,
while
others say that they should be funded by private businesses or the children's respective families.
This
writing will highlight both views and give my opinion on the topic. To start with, a country
that is
eager to push creativity may pay for these deeds related to it,
such
as painting, singing, and dancing. In most cases, not everything in
this
world is related to mathematics, physics, or chemistry,
however
, there are problems that have to be solved by creativity.
For example
, civil engineers have to work
together with
architects in order to produce a unique, engaging, but
also
strong structure. In short, some nations that direct their focus to design and aesthetics may pay for the related courses or studies.
On the other hand
, there are
also
countries that focus only on their science and technology advancement, causing them to think that they are not supposed to pay for art lessons. Students and youngsters living in
this
type of civilization are asked to pay for themselves for activities that are unrelated to science.
For example
, I think that there is not any country
that is
kind enough to fund their people to take music or dancing practices, in Indonesia, they have to put up their own resources to fund
this
type of deeds.
To sum up
, in some
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of the world, the mass has to spend their own money to be able to learn and study creative things. In conclusion, there are two types of government, the first one is eager to make an effort so that their people can get artistic educations,
while
the second one is not really into it and prefers allocating their money to technology.
Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on

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task response
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt, offers a clear opinion, and provides a balanced discussion of both views.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion. Use transition words and phrases to link your ideas and sentences more effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural development
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • state-sponsored
  • national identity
  • heritage
  • preservation
  • cultural enrichment
  • creative expression
  • balanced education
  • specialized offerings
  • market demand
  • innovation
  • personal investment
  • commitment
  • learning experience
  • unequal access
  • hybrid approach
  • vibrant
  • equitable
  • arts ecosystem
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