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Band 5

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in witch teenagers are allowed to be out of doors after a particular time night unless they are accompanied adult .What is your opinion about this?

#areas #‘curfew’ #witch #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
There are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
dangerous
Replace the word
dangers
show examples
 for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 especially adolescents in most cities of the US, ‘curfew’ is imposed, the children between 13-19 age, are not permitted to be out of
homes
Correct pronoun usage
their homes
show examples
 after
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pacific time at
night
,
while
 they can protect by an older
person
. I will explain why in
this
 essay.
Firstly
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
The US government
declare
Wrong verb form
declared
show examples
 more states in terms of critical was stopped at
night
. Especially for kids, it should be dangerous for adolescents at
night
. Because, they encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
criminals, and they have to be out of
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
 with
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
.
For example
, when one of them will
intent
Replace the word
intend
show examples
 to go out only, leading to argue with
ugly
Add an article
an ugly
show examples
person
. A significant factor is the safety
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 teenagers. Since there are much
crime
Change preposition
of crime
show examples
 in the majority of
province
Fix the agreement mistake
provinces
show examples
 of the US, many people scare their children
only
Fix the infinitive
to only
show examples
 go out for walking at
night
.
Therefore
, they believe that youngster should do with their parents.
For instance
, when a kid
will
Wrong verb form
decides
show examples
decide
Add the particle
todecide
show examples
 go out with an older
person
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they will feel safer. It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 rule is awful
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the government decided the
miner
Fix the agreement mistake
miners
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are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 not out of
houses
Correct pronoun usage
their houses
show examples
 at
time
Add an article
the time
a time
show examples
. They always alarm
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at
night
, and they can never go out
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
even during the day. Despite
this
, when the government insist young
person
 are not out of many
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
 because of
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
criminals
Correct quantifier usage
number of criminals
show examples
 affected in states.
To conclude
, today more big countries appear to be
encounter
Wrong verb form
encountering
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crime, and the administration declared processes, which they can avoid
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
particularly to foster
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers against
dangerous
Replace the word
dangers
show examples
 or safety
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at
night
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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