The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates the manufacturing
process
of
sugar
cane
in producing
sugar
.
Overall
, there are seven stages of the production
process
from planting the
sugar
cane
to the drying and cooling
process
of the
sugar
before it can be consumed. At the beginning of the
process
,
sugar
cane
is planted and it will be letting them grow for 12 to 18 months.
Next,
the harvesting
process
of
sugar
cane
with two options harvesting by traditional way or modern way using a machine.
Then
, the
sugar
cane
is crushed to become juice before the juice is purified by a limestone filter. Moving on to the next stage, before the juice turns into syrup, it experiences the evaporation
process
using a heating method by the fire below the evaporator.
Furthermore
, the next stage is separating
sugar
crystals from syrup using a centrifuge machine.
Finally
, before
sugar
can be consumed and distributed to consumers, the
sugar
is dried and cooled, and placed in the tubular big can.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar, cane with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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