IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people hold the view that it is better to buy their homes than rent them. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #homes #rent
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the
publict
Correct your spelling
public
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 that it is better to buy their homes than
rent
Use synonyms
 them. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because
people
Use synonyms
 can
slight
Verb problem
save
show examples
 their
money
Use synonyms
 and move to another
house
Use synonyms
. The main reason is that
people
Use synonyms
 have a chance to reduce
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 of financial problems. It is slight
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 because in today's
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 the average number person can not
allow to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
buy a
house
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in the past over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the population had
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 to buy a
house
Use synonyms
 but now
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
 has changed.
For instance
Linking Words
, the population of the USA always
rent
Use synonyms
 a
house
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 they have a high salary to purchase a
house
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
therefore
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they slight their
money
Use synonyms
 over
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 .
Resent
Correct your spelling
Recent
show examples
 research found that, namely 60 % of
people
Use synonyms
 who slighted their
money
Use synonyms
 became rich and independent.
As a result
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 slight their
money
Use synonyms
, they will have a great financial position which can
impacted
Change the verb form
impact
be impacted
show examples
 on their future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
. Another is that they can move from one to another
house
Use synonyms
 which
people
Use synonyms
 who buy the
house
Use synonyms
 can not perform. Because
people
Use synonyms
rent
Use synonyms
 their
houses
Use synonyms
 but not
buy
Correct pronoun usage
buy them
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can leave
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
better
Add an article
the better
a better
show examples
house
Use synonyms
 with more furniture and splendid design. A primary example of
this
Linking Words
 is
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 from China, where they have a wide range of
houses
Use synonyms
 and
flat
Fix the agreement mistake
flats
show examples
with great
interier
Correct your spelling
interiors
 and
design
Fix the agreement mistake
designs
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can
rent
Use synonyms
 it to not
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 cost and live or not
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on their desire.
However
Linking Words
, not only
people
Use synonyms
 can move to another
house
Use synonyms
, but they
also
Linking Words
 expand their outlook because when they change their
houses
Use synonyms
 it
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 their ability to recognise
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
houses
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they might be more confident and responsible. In conclusion, over 80 % of the population of the world still
renting
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of buying.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a
Replace the word
rented
show examples
rent
Use synonyms
house
Use synonyms
 might be a great choice for all
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: