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Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #events #waste #money #celebrations #role #lives #individuals #society
Nowadays, increasing
in
Change preposition
apply
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number of
people
 who choose to have personal
celebrating
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celebrations
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. There are two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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of
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to
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this
. Someone might think it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of
money
.
Otherwise
, there are
people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
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 that it is for social. In
this
 essay, I will argue that there are both
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 and
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
for
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to
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 celebrating.
Firstly
, more or less, celebrating have to spend
money
 for a lot of things in
an events
Correct the article-noun agreement
events
an event
show examples
. Some
people
 who
does
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do
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 not really have
money
 to waste on
this
 would find it
as
Correct your spelling
a
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 waste of
money
 and time. They could be able to use
those
Change the determiner
that money
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money
 no
the
Correct article usage
apply
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better
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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such
 as food,
house
Correct article usage
a house
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, and children as 100 baht means a lot for them and their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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.
On the other hand
, some
people
 think celebrating is for making
connection
Add an article
the connection
a connection
show examples
 for their future. They will
having
Change the verb form
have
be having
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 fun together. Some
people
look
Correct pronoun usage
who look
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 back might find it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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useless,
while
 the
people
 who know what to do with those
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
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 really enjoy
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
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money
 on and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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money
 back for more than what they spend.
Furthermore
, in
this
 case, most
people
 are rich already so they find
those
Change the determiner
that
show examples
money
 is nothing for them. In conclusion, there are many
people
 in the world
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 differently. Celebrating would be both positive and negative site up to the way
people
 do and think but no one should judge other
people
.
Submitted by nattafirm1 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • lavish parties
  • essential expenditures
  • financial stress
  • lasting memories
  • social bonds
  • emotional support
  • familial and social ties
  • mental health
  • community cohesion
  • cultural heritage
  • sense of identity
  • traditional practices
  • sense of belonging
  • continuity
  • unique cultural aspects
  • personal well-being
  • routine
  • life satisfaction
  • reasonable budget
  • cost-effective
  • potluck parties
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