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Band 5

People who damage public property, such as buildings or statues should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #damage #property #buildings #statues #community #service #parks #punishment #forms #prison
Some people believe that folks who bruise public assets like public libraries or monuments ought to be required to do community service,
such
 as social endeavour as a penalty rather than other forms of punishment like going to prison or paying a fine. In my opinion, I partially agree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in
this
 essay. On the one hand, in our society, there are many public properties that everyone can use easily,
such
 as public libraries, post offices and police offices.
However
, some communities go to those facilities and damage them, so they must get punishment like social work because most individuals do that thing the
first
time
.
For example
, if a person who does damages a public building for the
first
time
, will get a penalty but if the government send him to prison, it is too harsh for him because it is the
first
time
 he has done that. Actually, in South Korea, for that reason, they modify their law.
Therefore
, being required to do community service is good for some people.
On the other hand
, some nations harm their country buildings often, so the government decide to do social work but it
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not effective
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
As a result
, they go to jail for months or years, and some folks get some fines.
For instance
, some studies show that when individuals often damage public estates
such
 as public schools and public offices, they will do to same thing again in a few days.
For
this
 reason, we have to send them to prison or make them pay a fine. In conclusion, I partially agree with
this
 topic. If some communities damage public possession the
first
time
, we can consider doing social work for them
conversely
, do it more than once, we ought to send them to jail or make them pay a fine. Eventually, that will balance punishment for everyone.
Submitted by livewire53 on

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Task Achievement
Consider expanding on your ideas more thoroughly for each viewpoint, offering more detailed examples and explanations to support your opinions.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focused on a distinct aspect of the argument, to improve readability and flow.
Language Use
Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay and make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
You presented viewpoints on both sides of the argument, showcasing an ability to consider multiple perspectives.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay’s structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is adhered to, which is positive.
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