People who damage public property, such as buildings or statues should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #damage #property #buildings #statues #community #service #parks #punishment #forms #prison

Some people believe that folks who bruise public assets like public libraries or monuments ought to be required to do community service,

such

as social endeavour as a penalty rather than other forms of punishment like going to prison or paying a fine. In my opinion, I partially agree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in

this

essay. On the one hand, in our society, there are many public properties that everyone can use easily,

such

as public libraries, post offices and police offices.

However

, some communities go to those facilities and damage them, so they must get punishment like social work because most individuals do that thing the

first

time

For example

, if a person who does damages a public building for the

first

time

, will get a penalty but if the government send him to prison, it is too harsh for him because it is the

first

time

he has done that. Actually, in South Korea, for that reason, they modify their law.

Therefore

, being required to do community service is good for some people.

On the other hand

, some nations harm their country buildings often, so the government decide to do social work but it

does

Verb problem

show examples

not effective

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

As a result

, they go to jail for months or years, and some folks get some fines.

For instance

, some studies show that when individuals often damage public estates

such

as public schools and public offices, they will do to same thing again in a few days.

For

this

reason, we have to send them to prison or make them pay a fine. In conclusion, I partially agree with

this

topic. If some communities damage public possession the

first

time

, we can consider doing social work for them

conversely

, do it more than once, we ought to send them to jail or make them pay a fine. Eventually, that will balance punishment for everyone.

Submitted by livewire53 on Sun Sep 17 2023

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Task Achievement

Consider expanding on your ideas more thoroughly for each viewpoint, offering more detailed examples and explanations to support your opinions.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focused on a distinct aspect of the argument, to improve readability and flow.

Language Use

Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay and make your argument more compelling.

Task Achievement

You presented viewpoints on both sides of the argument, showcasing an ability to consider multiple perspectives.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay’s structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is adhered to, which is positive.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People who damage public property, such as buildings or statues should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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