Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?.

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system

It is argued that parents who have children attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

private

education

don'

need to be responsible for taxes that support the state

education

system. I strongly agree with

this

idea. There are many reasons why I concur with the point above.

Firstly

, those kids

aren'

Verb problem

don't

show examples

received

Wrong verb form

receive

show examples

any

education

methods or facilities from public schools.

Secondly

medium income

Add a hyphen

medium-income

show examples

families would have to tackle

a loads

Correct the article-noun agreement

loads

a load

show examples

of money because they have to pay twice for

Correct pronoun usage

their children

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

education

Finally

, paying extra

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

for services that they don'

get any benefits from can

causes

Change the verb form

cause

show examples

against

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

On the other hand

, it can

be contributed

Wrong verb form

contribute

show examples

build

Wrong verb form

building

show examples

a fair society and help households have a better quality of life - especially

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

show examples

families .

Therfore

Correct your spelling

Therefore

, parents can only have to pay the cost of private

education

. The rest of that money can be used to buy clothes, food, go on vacation .... or can be utilized for

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

children to go to university.

Besides

, for poor families,

this

money is

also

partly useful for them to pay bills. In conclusion, it would be great if governments didn'

build some kind of laws that required parents who have kids attend to private

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

to pay taxes for

state

Add an article

the state

show examples

education

system.

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Sun Sep 17 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

207 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

tax exemption
public education
private schools
collective responsibility
societal welfare
equitable access
financial burden
social cohesion
tax credits
vouchers
subsidies
state-funded
socioeconomic disparities
public vs. private sector
quality of education

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Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Humans have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is a natural process which animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

‏Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. ‏To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?