IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
#tables #information #temperatures #hours #daylight #london #sydney #weekend #december #summarise #features #comparisons #minutes
The tables
reporting
Wrong verb form
report
show examples
 some
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about
London
 and
Sydney
 temperatures and hours of daylight
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same weekend
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 December 2018.
Which are the
Verb problem
The
show examples
 data
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
London
 and
Sydney
have
Verb problem
were
show examples
 taken in three days (28-30th December 2018). In the first table,
temperature
Add an article
the temperature
show examples
 was changeable with the lowest minimum
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 3
°C
 and the maximum
temperature
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 31
°C
.
While the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 sunrise
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose between 08.05 to 08.06,
then
sunset
 in order to different
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 one
seconds
Change to a singular noun
second
show examples
. For the second table,
temperature
Add an article
the temperature
show examples
 was changeable with the lowest minimum
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 17
°C
 and the maximum
temperature
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 31
°C
.
While
 the sunrise
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose between 05.45 to 05.46m
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
sunset
 in order almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 but
it's
Wrong verb form
it was
show examples
 quite different with one second only. In conclusion,
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 tables
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
provide some information.
Firstly
,
Sydney
Change noun form
Sydney's
show examples
temperature
 is
exteremely
Correct your spelling
extremely
 hot than
London
 in significant.
Secondly
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the sunrise in
Sydney
 appeared in
early
Add an article
the early
show examples
 morning than
London
Change preposition
in London
show examples
.
Lastly
 for the
sunset
,
London
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
sunset
Correct article usage
a sunset
show examples
 in
late
Add an article
the late
show examples
 afternoon than
Sydne
Correct your spelling
Sydney
show examples
 which dawn in
evening
Add an article
the evening
show examples
.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end, that
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
caused
Add a missing verb
is caused
show examples
 by astronomy
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
geographic position, and seasonal
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 in scientific issues.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, sydney, temperature, °c, sunset with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "informations" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • The tables compare
  • temperatures
  • hours of daylight
  • ranged from
  • consistently high
  • slight increase
  • remained stable
  • significantly fewer
  • enjoyed
  • overall
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