IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (Co2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (Co2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph gives information about the average
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 ( CO2)
emissions
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom,
Sweden
Use synonyms
, Italy and Portugal from 1967 to 2007. It can clearly seen that, average
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 ( CO2)
emissions
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Portugal and Italia the most increase
commuters
Change preposition
in commuters
show examples
throught
Correct your spelling
throughout
through
 the period shown.
Also
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 average
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 ( CO2)
emissions
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Portugal and
Italia
Correct your spelling
Italy
show examples
 increase gradually,
this
Linking Words
 figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom falls steadily. In 1967, average
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 (CO2)
emissions
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Portugal started at 1,2 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
figures
Use synonyms
 of Italy started at 4,2 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 both
figures
Use synonyms
 gradually increase to 2007.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
figures
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Portugal a
peak
Use synonyms
 at 5,5 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
figures
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Italy a
peak
Use synonyms
 at 7,8 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 average
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 ( CO2)
emissions
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Portugal grew a
peak
Use synonyms
 at 5, 5 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
figures
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Italy rose
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
peak
Use synonyms
 at 7,8.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
figures
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom
drops
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 steadily, it started from 11 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
figures
Use synonyms
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to 8,3 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2007. Average
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 ( CO2) emission per
person
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sweden
Use synonyms
 started at 8,3 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
figures
Fix the agreement mistake
figure
show examples
 continued
sharply
Fix the infinitive
to sharply
show examples
 rise to 1977.
However
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
figures
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Sweden
Use synonyms
 sharply
falls
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 from 1987 to 2007.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words carbon, dioxide, co, emissions, person, sweden, tonnes, figures, peak with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 10 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "falls" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: