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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the price in Euros of four types of bread per kilogram in one European country from 2001 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the price in Euros of four types of bread per kilogram in one European country from 2001 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#price #euros #four #bread #kilogram #european #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 line chart diagram describes the
price
Use synonyms
 fluctuations of four types of
bread
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 in European
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 from 2001 to 2005. In summary, it is interesting to note that the cost of brown
bread
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, white
bread
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 and
rye
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bread
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 in the European nation has
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward trend from 2001 to 2005.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is worth noting that the
price
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 of
wholegrain
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bread
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 in European
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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fells
Correct your spelling
fell
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 downward trend from 2011. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
detail, it could be noticed that the charge of
wholegrain
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bread
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 reached the peak of 18
Euros
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 per kilogram in 2002, and there was a sharp decline in 2003,
the
Rephrase
when the
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price
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 of
wholegrain
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bread
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 only
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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1 Euro per kilogram.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the cost of white
bread
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 and
rye
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bread
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 remains steady from 2001 to 2005.
In addition
Linking Words
, the charge of white
bread
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was
Wrong verb form
has been
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 higher than
rye
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bread
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 since 2002 years. It is worth
nothing
Correct your spelling
noting
show examples
 that the
price
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 of brown
bread
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, white
bread
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 and
rye
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bread
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 was
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 in 2001, about 0.6
Euros
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. And the original
price
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 of
wholegrain
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bread
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 was more expensive than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three types of
bread
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, about
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
0.2
Euros
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the cost of brown
bread
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 was the most expensive than others in 2005,
about
Change preposition
at about
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 1.6
Euros
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pre
Correct your spelling
per
show examples
 kilogram. In conclusion, both brown
bread
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,white
bread
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 and
rye
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bread
Use synonyms
 had the same
price
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 at the beginning,about 0.6
Euros
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 , and followed an upward trend.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the charge
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
wholegrain
Use synonyms
bread
Use synonyms
 shows
a dramatic fluctuations
Correct the article-noun agreement
dramatic fluctuations
a dramatic fluctuation
show examples
 from 2001 to 2005.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words price, bread, rye, wholegrain, euros with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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