IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack interpersonal skills needed for communicaion with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solution can help address this problem?

#business #employees #college #university #lack #skills #communicaion #colleagues #reason #address
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A plethora of businesses have seen throughout the years that newly graduated people do not have enough communication skills in front of their co-workers. The reasons might be because of the gap in educational systems. To solve
this
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 issue, governments should encompass crucial topics of communication in universities' curricula. There are numerous courses in colleges and universities which are academic and technical. Students learn many things to know how to do their future careers properly,
whereas
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 they do not understand the way of building relationships with others, especially their colleagues whom they spend most of their time with daily.
For example
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,
although
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 a doctor learns how to do surgery perfectly and save the patient's life, they can not behave well with others,
such
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 as nurses, in a hospital. Governments play a crucial role in solving
this
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 problem by changing the educational system. They should change the curriculums in the best way, which can nurture both academic and communication skills together. The later courses must have the same value as the former ones,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 the students pay more attention in classrooms to earn their desired score.
Furthermore
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, these skills need more practice rather than just studying, so the tutors can hold clubs where individuals can show what they have learned by playing roles in front of their classmates. In conclusion, it has been observed that post-graduates usually do not have enough ability to interact with others, which is the result of defects in educational courses, so governments should take steps to tackle
this
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 problem by changing the curriculums.
Submitted by g.bohlouli96 on

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task response
Make sure to address the prompt directly and provide a clear stance on the issue. Provide more specific examples and explanations to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interpersonal skills
  • communication
  • collaboration
  • teamwork
  • soft skills
  • curriculum development
  • real-world experience
  • professional development
  • mentoring
  • academic-industry partnerships
  • hands-on learning
  • social aptitude
  • networking
  • digital literacy
  • virtual communication
  • cognitive skills
  • emotional intelligence
  • peer interaction
  • active listening
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