IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors-agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services-to the UK economy in the twentieth cenutury. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors-agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services-to the UK economy in the twentieth cenutury. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The following graph depicts three main fields that influenced the
economy
Use synonyms
 of the UK in the twentieth century in percentages. Those fields include
agriculture
Use synonyms
, manufacturing,
business
Use synonyms
 and
finance
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the first half of the 20th ,century
agriculture
Use synonyms
 played a huge role in the
economy
Use synonyms
 of the UK, unlike the second half because
business
Use synonyms
 and
finance
Use synonyms
 became more important during that period of time. We can observe a downward trend in
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and manufacturing
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and an upward trend in the influence of
business
Use synonyms
 and financial
sectors
Use synonyms
.
Agriculture
Use synonyms
 made up almost 50%, manufacturing around 45%, and the
contribution
Use synonyms
 of
finance
Use synonyms
 and
business
Use synonyms
 was less than 10% of the
economy
Use synonyms
 of the UK, in 1900. From 1950 until 1975, the impact of each of these
sectors
Use synonyms
 except for manufacturing increased. Manufacturing made up less than 40% of the
economy
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
contribution
Use synonyms
 of
agriculture
Use synonyms
 made up more than 60%, and
finance
Use synonyms
 and
business
Use synonyms
 made up almost 10% of the
economy
Use synonyms
. In 1975, the influence of both
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and manufacturing decreased, they made up almost 10% and more than 30%, respectively. The
contribution
Use synonyms
 of the
business
Use synonyms
 and financial
sectors
Use synonyms
 kept increasing, they made up approximately 20 of the
economy
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
 in 2000, the impact of
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and manufacturing continued decreasing, they made up less than 10% and around 15%, respectively. But the
contribution
Use synonyms
 of the
business
Use synonyms
 and financial
sectors
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically, it made up around 40% of the
economy
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words economy, agriculture, business, finance, sectors, contribution with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: