IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to solve traffic and transportation problems is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #transportation #people #cities #suburbs #countryside
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that
traffic
Use synonyms
 and transportation issues are a big concern for many
people
Use synonyms
.
while
Linking Words
 is a commonly held belief that governments ought to tell
people
Use synonyms
 to move to
cities
Use synonyms
 rather than rural areas or countryside, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that we must tell
people
Use synonyms
 to not moving to
cities
Use synonyms
 but
instead
Linking Words
 of that they should go out of the
cities
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we all know that if the proportion of the city's population could cause more
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should move to other areas.
In addition
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 research that I read on a website: most
cities
Use synonyms
 that have significant transportation problems are those that have more
people
Use synonyms
 living in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, my city has the highest rate of
traffic
Use synonyms
 issues among all
cities
Use synonyms
 in my country just because the proportion of the population is more than in Jedda
for example
Linking Words
. another point to consider
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is that the
people
Use synonyms
 who live in a city have the ability to go out anytime they want. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that they will hang out with their friends without planning.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will be easier to transport and you will arrive fast
this
Linking Words
 idea will make
people
Use synonyms
 drive more and cause more
traffic
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if I want to shopping and go to a mall I do not have to make a schedule for it. in conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views. I believe that the governments must encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to think about moving to the suburbs or the countryside.
Submitted by firasalfadda2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
The introduction lacks clarity and fails to present a clear stance on the topic. The body paragraphs contain relevant points but need further development. The conclusion should summarize the argument and restate the stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat evident, but the essay lacks coherence in connecting ideas and maintaining a clear progression of thoughts. Transition words and phrases should be used to better link the sentences and paragraphs together.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • public transport infrastructure
  • commutes
  • residential density
  • ecological footprint
  • overcrowding
  • urban planning
  • car-sharing
  • traffic management
  • rural preservation
  • transportation policies
  • electric vehicles
  • sustainable living
  • incentivize
  • telecommuting
What to do next:
Look at other essays: