Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views

#people #government #money #sport #facilities #athletes #everybody

There is an underlying assumption that as much as possible should be spent on

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

centres and arenas for the

only

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

best athletes.

On the contrary

, it is logical

to conclude

that

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities should be developed for everyone. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I am going to explain

further

these both types of view. First and foremost, it is formally acknowledged that authorities should spend a huge sum of money on new sports facilities for their top specialists in sports,

due to

the fact that it gives them a chance for the national

sport

to be popularized. For the time being, the Olympic games are the most popular

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

event around the globe. If the country wants to participate in

such

an event, it will train only the best of the best. To be more precise, if an athlete

won

Wrong verb form

wins

show examples

a gold, silver or bronze medal in the competition, it would have to be like a national holiday, especially because it is important for small countries,

consequently

Add a comma

,consequently

show examples

this

county will have a "known face" in the International arena.

On the other hand

, it is considered by many that huge

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

centres, gyms and local

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

sections are important for everyone.

Therefore

, funds have to be spent not only for people who choose

sport

as a profession

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

for citizens. To take a more direct approach, if the government wants to raise the best athletes,

sport

Add an article

the sport

show examples

has to be famous for everyone,

hence

money ought to be invested in local communities. The main reason for

this

approach is that young talented sportsmen are being found and the best way to do it is for the local sports facilities to be built.

Moreover

, it gives important opportunities for elder people to keep fit. In conclusion, it depends on what goals each government wants to achieve. To date,

due to

the aforementioned if authorities want to play a crucial role in International

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

events it will be a good way for money to be spent, but in the modern world spending funds on

such

things should be balanced.

Submitted by roker123456 on Tue Sep 19 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

345 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that newspaper are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both these news and give your own opinion.