IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
#change #prices #three #metals
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The provided graph
respresents
Correct your spelling
represents
 the cost of
Copper
Use synonyms
, Nickel, and Zinc in one
month
Use synonyms
 in the year 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the fluctuation of the price of the metals are downfall.
Difference
Correct article usage
The difference
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the figure of
Copper
Use synonyms
 was slightly uptrend.
However
Linking Words
, for Nickel and Zinc
graph
Fix the agreement mistake
graphs
show examples
 are
steep
Correct article usage
a steep
show examples
 drop down and after that rate rose very minimal.
In addition
Linking Words
 three of the metal's prices were downward to the
month
Use synonyms
 of
J
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, from the previous
month
Use synonyms
Copper
Use synonyms
 rate
stared
Correct your spelling
started
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 2%.
Then
Linking Words
 it declined to its lowest point
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
month
Use synonyms
J
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Nickel's price change percentage was 1% but the changes inclined to 3% and
then
Linking Words
 fell into
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 lowest point, which was the
month
Use synonyms
J
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, again it rose and
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
show examples
 the point
1.5
Change preposition
of 1.5
show examples
%
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 which was
near
Rephrase
apply
show examples
close to
Copper
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, Zinc changes from
last
Linking Words
month
Use synonyms
 by 6% which was the highest among
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two metals. It was
also
Linking Words
 steep drop down to its lowest level in the
month
Use synonyms
 of
J
Use synonyms
 like
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 two metals. After
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 the trend was upward and finished with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 1% change.
Submitted by kaynath87 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words copper, month, j with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "steep" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
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