IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Only government action can solve housing shortages in big cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Housing
shortages
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major problem in the
cities
Use synonyms
. In many big
cities
Use synonyms
government
Use synonyms
 is trying to solve the problem.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with the aforementioned statement that only
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should play a pivotal
role
Use synonyms
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
shortages
Use synonyms
 of housing in the big
cities
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the reasons outlined below.
Firstly
Linking Words
, People believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 can only solve housing
shortages
Use synonyms
 in the major
cities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is to say that, In the massive number, People are moving from rural
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 to
a developed
Correct the article-noun agreement
developed cities
a developed city
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cities
Use synonyms
 in search of better facilities.
As a result
Linking Words
, The population of a particular place increases and the
shortages
Use synonyms
 of housing will arise. To illustrate,
according to
Linking Words
 the New York Times, 15% of
population
Add an article
the population
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 has increased from migration in the capital city 'Kathmandu' in the fiscal year 2019/2020.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, The
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 should play a
role
Use synonyms
to limit
Change preposition
in limiting
show examples
 migration and manage a proper plan to develop every
Use synonyms
cities
Change to a singular noun
city
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the country.
Similarly
Linking Words
, In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
massive
cities
Use synonyms
, the authorisation should focus on
proper
Add an article
the proper
a proper
show examples
plan
Replace the word
planning
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on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
With
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the major
role
Use synonyms
 of the
government
Use synonyms
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing planning . The citizens
also
Linking Words
 have
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
role
Use synonyms
to control
Change preposition
in controlling
show examples
 housing
shortages
Use synonyms
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, The general public should
take
Verb problem
have
show examples
 knowledge about the proper housing plan before they
seattle
Change the capitalization
Seattle
show examples
 in any
locations
Fix the agreement mistake
location
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the Himalayan Times, 5% of people who
seattled
Correct your spelling
settled
 in the area of New Baneshwor had been found to be living in the
government
Use synonyms
 land.
As a result
Linking Words
, The authorisation is planning to remove the households.
To sum up
Linking Words
, The
government
Use synonyms
 plays a pivotal
role
Use synonyms
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
 housing
shortages
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it the citizens
also
Linking Words
 play a crucial
role
Use synonyms
 to the solve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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