IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Only government action can solve housing shortages in big cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #action #shortages #cities
Housing
shortages
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major problem in the
cities
. In many big
cities
government
 is trying to solve the problem.
However
, I disagree with the aforementioned statement that only
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should play a pivotal
role
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
shortages
 of housing in the big
cities
due to
 the reasons outlined below.
Firstly
, People believe that the
government
 can only solve housing
shortages
 in the major
cities
.
This
 is to say that, In the massive number, People are moving from rural
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 to
a developed
Correct the article-noun agreement
developed cities
a developed city
show examples
cities
 in search of better facilities.
As a result
, The population of a particular place increases and the
shortages
 of housing will arise. To illustrate,
according to
 the New York Times, 15% of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 has increased from migration in the capital city 'Kathmandu' in the fiscal year 2019/2020.
Furthermore
, The
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 should play a
role
to limit
Change preposition
in limiting
show examples
 migration and manage a proper plan to develop every
cities
Change to a singular noun
city
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the country.
Similarly
, In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
massive
cities
, the authorisation should focus on
proper
Add an article
the proper
a proper
show examples
plan
Replace the word
planning
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing.
Secondly
,
With
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the major
role
 of the
government
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing planning . The citizens
also
 have
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
role
to control
Change preposition
in controlling
show examples
 housing
shortages
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, The general public should
take
Verb problem
have
show examples
 knowledge about the proper housing plan before they
seattle
Change the capitalization
Seattle
show examples
 in any
locations
Fix the agreement mistake
location
show examples
.
For instance
,
according to
 the Himalayan Times, 5% of people who
seattled
Correct your spelling
settled
 in the area of New Baneshwor had been found to be living in the
government
 land.
As a result
, The authorisation is planning to remove the households.
To sum up
, The
government
 plays a pivotal
role
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
 housing
shortages
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it the citizens
also
 play a crucial
role
 to the solve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by gurungshreejana13 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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