IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The grap below shows the reported number of cases of influenza with people over 65 in a certain village in the UK from 1985 to 1995

#grap #cases #influenza #people #village #uk
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates registered flu
cases
Use synonyms
 of senior citizens
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65
years
Use synonyms
 old and above in a particular village in the United Kingdom over the period of ten
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that reporting the sickness witnessed growth despite some fluctuations. In 1985, the number of reported sick elderly stood at 40.
This
Linking Words
 figure climbed steadily over the next two
years
Use synonyms
 with a total of 55
cases
Use synonyms
 logged in,
then
Linking Words
 it was followed by a slight dip to below 50 in 1988. Afterwards, the registration of sickness experienced a significant growth that continued over the following three
years
Use synonyms
 to reach a peak in 1991 with 75
cases
Use synonyms
 recorded. From 1991, the number of elderly citizens yet again saw a gradual decrease in registering influenza for two more
years
Use synonyms
. In 1993, the number of sick people stood exactly at 60,
this
Linking Words
 figure rose slightly in the next year with 5 more additional
cases
Use synonyms
 and ended the period in 1995 with 60 patients.
Submitted by roulaga on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: