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Band 6.5

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, waves and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gass that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#alternative #energy #sources #power #wind #waves #sun #oil #gass #cities #transport
Fossil
fuels
 have been an easy-to-access resource for us for a long time. But there are some problems we are facing today. One of them is that, they are not renewable and they probably will finish in 50 years. Other options
such
 as alternative
energy
sources
 have
also
 been introduced to us, but those
energy
sources
 are high-priced and investing in renewable
energy
sources
 has become a controversial subject. Obviously, coal, oil and gas are much cheaper than wind or solar power. In the 20th ,century scientists have worked a lot on extracting fossil
fuels
 and refining them. If they hadn’t put that much effort into refining technology, we wouldn’t have been able to consume
this
 amount of
energy
 today. Regarding their dedication of time, we are now very comfortable with transportation systems and other systems that make us live a better life.
In addition
, with
such
 prosperity why do we bother ourselves to find an alternative to non-renewable
energy
sources
? Despite the fact that clean
energy
 is expensive and needs its own complicated technology, it has many plus points that should be contemplated.
First,
it is renewable. unlike fossil
fuels
 that have limited
sources
, wind, sun’s heat and waves can’t be exhausted by the users and they renew themselves.
Second,
green
energy
 as it seems is clean and green. It is environmentally friendly and as we replace them with fossil
fuels
, we can dispose of fumes emitted by different engines. In a nutshell,
although
 fossil
fuels
 are very user-friendly and we do not have the technology to use green power as accessible as fossil
fuels
, we have to consider the harmful impacts of non-renewable
energy
sources
 on our habitat. In my point of view, the government should pay the price and harness as many clean
energy
 resources as it is provided with.
Submitted by dinanssn5 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses all parts of the task question, presents a clear position, and supports that position with relevant examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be strengthened by clearly stating the writer's position in the introduction and summarizing key points in the conclusion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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