Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #time #subjects

Students

attend

school

to improve their vision and enhance their skills.

For

this

reason, some people feel that it is necessary to include physical

education

for

Change preposition

show examples

better

achieving

Wrong verb form

achieve

show examples

this

goal. Others think that they should focus all their energy on their academic subjects.

Student

Fix the agreement mistake

Students

show examples

are get admitted to

school

to learn things as much as possible. Unfortunately, we have put learning into artificial boxes suggesting that physical and academic

education

are not connected. There is a famous saying: "

not

Capitalize word

Not

show examples

all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students

are

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

". Some people shine in academics,

while

other people in the world are known for their

sportmanship

Correct your spelling

sportsmanship

skills,

for instance

, Ronaldo may not have passed

school

but is considered as

successful

Add an article

a successful

show examples

person as any Chartered Accountant in the world. Physical

education

, provided in the

school

allows

sports oriented

Add a hyphen

sports-oriented

show examples

students

to polish their capabilities and develop their interest in that field even more.

Moreover

sudents

Correct your spelling

students

often get tired of studying all day and require something to freshen up themselves. Physical activities

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

them to restore their energy to concentrate on their subjects with focused minds. Despite

this

, the amount is

time

specified for each activity is important. The more we learn about a

subject

, the more complex it gets. The depth of the

subject

requires more

time

and concentration. If

students

spend more

time

on physical

education

, their focus

gets

Verb problem

show examples

doomed.

Further

, there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one

particuar

Correct your spelling

particular

subject

students

find interesting to build their career in.

This

requires

time

to find which

subject

is out of all. Not giving too much

time

on that specific

subject

students

may begin to lose interest, which can be harmful to their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

. In conclusion, from the above arguments, I am inclined to say that incorporating physical

education

outweighs its disadvantages.

However

, caution is necessary, the amount of

time

should

Correct pronoun usage

that should

show examples

be set for physical activities is essential.

Submitted by syedaaneequa on Wed Sep 20 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries around the world,rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Some people think that the news media nowadays have influenced people's lives in negative ways. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today's parents spend too little staying with their children and use television to make their children keep quiet. Explain the reason and results by using your relevant experience.

some people believe that after the child begins his/her schooling their teacher will have more influence than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?