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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #time #subjects
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Students
 attend
school
 to improve their vision and enhance their skills.
For
this
 reason, some people feel that it is necessary to include physical
education
for
Change preposition
to
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 better
achieving
Wrong verb form
achieve
show examples
this
 goal. Others think that they should focus all their energy on their academic subjects.
Student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
 are get admitted to
school
 to learn things as much as possible. Unfortunately, we have put learning into artificial boxes suggesting that physical and academic
education
 are not connected. There is a famous saying: "
not
Capitalize word
Not
show examples
 all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students
 are
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
". Some people shine in academics,
while
 other people in the world are known for their
sportmanship
Correct your spelling
sportsmanship
 skills,
for instance
, Ronaldo may not have passed
school
 but is considered as
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
 person as any Chartered Accountant in the world. Physical
education
, provided in the
school
 allows
sports oriented
Add a hyphen
sports-oriented
show examples
students
 to polish their capabilities and develop their interest in that field even more.
Moreover
,
sudents
Correct your spelling
students
 often get tired of studying all day and require something to freshen up themselves. Physical activities
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 them to restore their energy to concentrate on their subjects with focused minds. Despite
this
, the amount is
time
 specified for each activity is important. The more we learn about a
subject
, the more complex it gets. The depth of the
subject
 requires more
time
 and concentration. If
students
 spend more
time
 on physical
education
, their focus
gets
Verb problem
is
show examples
 doomed.
Further
, there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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one
particuar
Correct your spelling
particular
subject
students
 find interesting to build their career in.
This
 requires
time
 to find which
subject
 is out of all. Not giving too much
time
 on that specific
subject
,
students
 may begin to lose interest, which can be harmful to their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. In conclusion, from the above arguments, I am inclined to say that incorporating physical
education
 outweighs its disadvantages.
However
, caution is necessary, the amount of
time
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
 be set for physical activities is essential.
Submitted by syedaaneequa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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