In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Many
people
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from rustic territories are migrating to the cities in many nations around the world. Some experts argue that
this
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has detrimental effects on the balance between rural and urban populations. In
this
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essay, I will explain why I believe
this
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has negative consequences on traditions and the
residents
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.
To begin
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with, the Countryside is the major location for our cultural heritage.
This
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is because rural
residents
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are still using old traditions,
whereas
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Western cultural invasion has destroyed the old habitat of city
residents
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. Take Indonesia as an example, whose rural charms are completely replaced by high-raised buildings and its
people
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are unbearably remembering their past situations. If the number of
people
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who live in the countryside decreases rapidly,
this
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would result in losing the identity of the upcoming generations.
Moreover
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, the consequences are not only on the culture but
also
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on the
residents
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of both the rural and the city. The reason for
that is
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that if more
people
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choose to live in urbanized areas, the population will definitely increase by significant proportional numbers.
Therefore
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, more requirements will be needed to be managed by the authorities. Despite
this
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fact, if the government could not discipline these needs, an initial crisis would pop up
such
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as a dramatic incline in living prices and higher rates of traffic congestion.
To conclude
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,
while
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this
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detrimental phenomenon is rising considerably, it can ruin the origins of the
people
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of a country.
Additionally
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,
this
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fall in the number of rural
residents
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will end up in climbing the number of citizens,
therefore
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more effective steps should be taken to tackle problems like the cost of living and traffic.
Submitted by mahanmxd on

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coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a high level of understanding of the topic and structure in your essay. To enhance your writing further, consider diversifying your sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary. This will add sophistication to your writing and make it even more engaging.
task achievement
It's commendable how you provided specific examples to support your points, particularly with the Indonesia example. In future essays, you might also include counterarguments to show a balanced view. This can enrich your discussion and show a deeper understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a good logical flow and structure, making it easy to follow. The introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate your main points, which is excellent.
task achievement
You have clearly articulated your viewpoint on the subject and provided relevant examples to support your arguments. Your dedication to exploring the impacts of rural to urban migration on culture and the residents is commendable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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