The pie charts below show the age groups of the users on different social media platforms in Australia in 2011

The pie charts below show the age groups of the users on different social media platforms in Australia in 2011
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts illustrate the preferred social media
platforms
Use synonyms
(
Facebook
Use synonyms
, Twitter, Linkedln, Google+, Pinterest) among Australians varying from the years 2011 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Facebook
Use synonyms
is the most common platform
while
Linking Words
Pinterest is the least well-known social media app. It can be seen from the pie chart that over a 3 years period, from 2011 to 2013,
Facebook
Use synonyms
Linking Words
although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
remains
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most commonly use platform by the vast majority, the percentage has decreased from 59% in 2011 to 38% in 2013. From the figures, it can be inferred that
Facebook
Use synonyms
is gradually used less as other
platforms
Use synonyms
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the remaining 4 media
platforms
Use synonyms
had a rise in percentage throughout the course. The most major increase is shown through the Google+ platform. The initial percentage in 2011 was 5% and rapidly increased in one year to twice as much (10% in 2012), the growth lessened by 1% from the year 2012 to 2013, having only a 4% rise. The other 3
platforms
Use synonyms
had more consistent increases, as shown in Twitter where the growth is by 2% each year.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words platforms, facebook with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: