The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #games #devices #individuals #society

In today's digital age, the accessibility of

entertainment

options, including electronic

games

on portable devices, has become more prevalent than ever before. Some argue that

this

abundance of

entertainment

can be detrimental to

individuals

and

society

as a whole.

However

, I disagree with

this

notion and believe that the availability of

such

entertainment

, when used in moderation, can have positive impacts on

individuals

and their communities.

To begin

with, electronic

games

on portable devices can serve as a source of relaxation and stress relief for

individuals

. In our fast-paced world, people often face high levels of stress and pressure, and having access to enjoyable

games

can provide a healthy escape. Playing these

games

can help

individuals

unwind, recharge, and improve their mental well-being, ultimately benefiting

society

by reducing

overall

stress levels.

Furthermore

, electronic

games

can enhance cognitive skills and problem-solving abilities. Many

games

require strategic thinking, quick decision-making, and adaptability, which can translate into improved critical thinking skills in real-life situations. In a

society

that values innovation and problem-solving, these

games

can contribute positively to an individual's skill set and, by extension, to

society

's advancement.

Additionally

, the gaming industry has created job opportunities and stimulated economic growth. The development and distribution of electronic

games

have led to the creation of numerous jobs in software development, graphic design, marketing, and more.

This

not only benefits

individuals

by offering employment but

also

boosts the local and global economy. In conclusion,

while

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overindulgence in electronic

games

on portable devices can have negative consequences, their availability

Remove the comma

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when used in moderation, offers several benefits to

individuals

and

society

. These

games

can provide relaxation, enhance cognitive skills, and stimulate economic growth.

Therefore

, I strongly disagree with the assertion that

such

entertainment

options are inherently harmful to

individuals

and their communities. It is essential to strike a balance between leisure and responsibility to harness their positive potential.

Submitted by bianzhengyang on Wed Sep 20 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

311 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

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The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e. g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree?