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Band 2

Some people believe that women should play equal role in police or Military forces like army. Others believe that these work are unsuitable for women. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #women #role #police #forces #army #work
Last
 two years of
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
high school I
was working
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
 on
my
Change the word
a
show examples
 project called "Cube Math" with my team. Our goal was to invent a device for 5-
7 years old
Correct your spelling
7-year-old
children
 with a lack of vision to learn the basics of mathematics equally as those
children
 who are not blind.
Me
Change the pronoun
I
show examples
 and my teammates have visited our local school for disabled
children
; I had several meetings with the director of
this
 school and teachers. During our visits I realized how complicated it must be to learn numbers and rules of different operations without understanding the concept of spatial thinking; traditional tools for blind
children
 were
uneffective
Correct your spelling
ineffective
show examples
 and time-consuming. It was the beginning of our contribution and global impact on our local society. We developed our own device to equalize opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both groups -
children
 with and without vision problems. Our business plan was
also
 created with our future steps for 2022-2025; the final step is to globalize our project.
This
 project gave me the opportunity to make an impact on local society,
moreover
, it showed me how to manage
proccesses
Correct your spelling
processes
 in our team.
Submitted by ryskulovstreet on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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