It is responsiblitity of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extend do you agree or disagree with these statements ?

#responsiblitity #individuals #retirement #governments #obligation #benefit #statements

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There is a responsibility for workers

people

Use synonyms

to save for their retirement scheme as the authorities do not have the obligation to provide

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

benefit. I do not agree with the latter statement because from my perspective the

government

Use synonyms

should provide a state

pension

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for those who are working their whole life. On the one hand, it is true

people

Use synonyms

are being forced to save money for their own retirement because the

government

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pension

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is not enough to cover their basic needs.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, employers enrol their employees on private plan pensions to make sure their employees receive a

pension

Use synonyms

in the future.

This

Linking Words

is a good alternative for working-class

people

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because

Linking Words

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

show examples

it will be impossible to save money for the future as the cost of living is quite high nowadays and a good salary is hard to get.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should make sure that

people

Use synonyms

get a minimum

pension

Use synonyms

to survive regardless if they have work or not. Getting a

pension

Use synonyms

is a right for citizens which can not be denied by the

government

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Besides

Linking Words

, those countries with a good plan of

pension

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provide security and peace of mind to

people

Use synonyms

who go to work every day. So, I believe that the

government

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need to be responsible for the pensions as a lot of tax are paid to them. In conclusion, workers are struggling to save some money to survive in the future

due to

Linking Words

the lack of help

Change preposition

from

show examples

the authorities when it comes to pensions. I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the approach by the

government

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is intolerant and something has to be done to change

this

Linking Words

fact.

Submitted by murrobetania on Wed Sep 20 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personal financial planning
Self-sufficiency
Moral imperatives
Social imperatives
Retirement planning
Economic implications
Government-funded retirement schemes
Self-funded retirement
Social safety nets
Social security
Long-term sustainability
Fiscal responsibility
Public pension systems
Individual savings
Mandatory retirement contributions

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It is responsiblitity of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extend do you agree or disagree with these statements ?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects.Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?