The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given process diagrams illustrate the
cycle
of
salmon
’s life, a species of large fish.
Overall
, there are three stages of the life
cycle
from the
salmon
eggs
phase in the upper river to the adult
salmon
phase in the open sea.
In addition
, it takes about ten and a half years of
cycle
time for
Salmon
.
To begin
, the first
stage
is the breeding process of the
salmon
eggs
in the upper river with slow-moving water.
Salmon
eggs
are placed under the reeds and small stones. It takes 5 to 6 months before the
eggs
turn into fry with a size of 3 – 8 cm.
Then
, the second
stage
is the fries moving to the fast-flowing water known as a lower river.
Moreover
, after approximately 4 years of the
cycle
, the fry grows to be a smolt with a size of 12 – 15 cm.
Furthermore
, the third
stage
is the smolts migrating to the open sea. The smolts stay in the open sea for approximately 5 years before growing to be adult
salmon
with a significant increase in their size to 70 – 80 cm.
In addition
,
after
this
stage
, the
cycle
perpetuates and the life
cycle
repeats again from the breeding
stage
.
Submitted by zakiyaartanti19 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cycle, salmon, eggs, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • freshwater streams
  • small pebbles
  • reeds
  • alevin
  • yolk sac
  • nourishment
  • fry
  • grow stronger
  • grow larger
  • parr
  • defined markings
  • estuaries
  • smolt
  • adapt to saltwater
  • ocean
  • full size
  • sexual maturity
  • spawn
  • life cycle
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