Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? It is a positive or negative development?

#celebrities #money #politicians #development

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Popular people nowadays

receiving

Wrong verb form

receive

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a lot of

money

Use synonyms

that

Correct word choice

than

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government

Use synonyms

workers.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss the pros and the cons.

On the other hand

Linking Words

celebrities

Use synonyms

receive more

money

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due to

Linking Words

the fact that they are so popular and they have a lot of fans out there.

One

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of the reasons

also

Linking Words

that these famous people are very costly when performing in the film theatre or

take

Wrong verb form

taking

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any part in the community services. Not only that

however

Linking Words

they

been

Verb problem

have

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study

Wrong verb form

studied

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and

practise

Wrong verb form

practised

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plenty

Correct word choice

for many

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hours or years to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrrities

Correct your spelling

celebrities

Further

Linking Words

than that they receive more

money

Use synonyms

on the account of they are the embassy of their country plus they are

also

Linking Words

carrying the name of their country wherever they go and that why they gain more

money

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that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

government

Use synonyms

politicians.

However

Linking Words

, it is a negative development on the other side why?

this

Linking Words

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

can cause

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bankrupt

Replace the word

bankruptcy

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because the

Use synonyms

government

Add a verb

isgovernment

wasgovernment

show examples

happy

Change preposition

for

show examples

famous people to earn more

money

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. Another effect

will occur

Verb problem

apply

show examples

is that most of the

politicans

Correct your spelling

politicians

political

workers will definitely resign from their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

due to

Linking Words

the low income.

One

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good example is that

politians

Correct your spelling

politicians

and

celebrities

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are human

being

Change the noun form

beings

show examples

. The question here

why

Add a missing verb

is why

show examples

the other will

Add a missing verb

be diffirent

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diffirent

Correct your spelling

different

from the other

one

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Change the punctuation

show examples

The answer is that they both have

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

and work

Change preposition

for

show examples

same

Change the article

the same

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purpose as to provide bread on the table.

This

Linking Words

practise

Replace the word

practice

show examples

shows that the more earn less

Change preposition

apply

show examples

politicians will suffer their families and friends not only that

Linking Words

Rephrase

apply

show examples

however

Add a comma

,however

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it will not

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

everyone in the

government

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position happy. In conclusion,

celebrities

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are earning more because they are

proffesional

Correct your spelling

professional

and

this

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

their

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

job

Change to a plural noun

jobs

show examples

that they do throughout their life

Linking Words

besides

Capitalize word

Besides

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they are the embassy of the country and that

essential

Add a missing verb

is essential

show examples

to the citizens

thus

Linking Words

politians

Correct your spelling

politicians

will get less income and

that is

Linking Words

not fair between them. In my opinion, I believe that if the

government

Use synonyms

enforce

Verb problem

apply

show examples

levelise the salary with the

celebrities

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

it will help the citizen to support their families and the communities.

Submitted by riemwatokateti on Thu Sep 21 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

endorsements
revenue streams
global presence
diversified branding
income sources
free-market principles
market value
government budgets
public funds
public perception
value generation
bureaucratic
consumer spending
economic implications

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Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? It is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

1.Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries

Why is Indonesia moving its capital from Jakarta to Borneo?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Some companies sponsor sport as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good for the world of sports, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.