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Band 5.5

Some people say that now is the best time in histroy to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?

#people #time #histroy #history
Nowadays technologies are improving
day
 by
day
.
As a result
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 are living
luxury
Replace the word
more luxurious
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than
past
Change preposition
in past
show examples
 decades.
Therefore
,
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 says
this
 is the best
time
 to be
way
Add an article
a way
the way
show examples
 of
life
. In my point of view,
this
 moment is the best of
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
expend
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 our
life
.
This
 opinion, I am going to explain
provided
Correct pronoun usage
this provided
show examples
 with relevant examples
further
Change preposition
in further
show examples
, paragraphs. On the
one
 hand, when I take into account past
era
Fix the agreement mistake
eras
show examples
, Humans lived in paramount difficult
life
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than present
life
. In that case, society was very primitive and they
don’t
Wrong verb form
didn’t
show examples
 know about technology.
For instance
, if people
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 sick sometimes doctors are unable to
identified
Change the form of the verb
identify
show examples
illness
Correct article usage
the illness
show examples
 and patients
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 get any medication.
Furthermore
, patients
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
died every
day
.
Thus
,
one
 in a blue moon sick people recovered. Because,
this
 was
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
 at that
time
doesn’t
Wrong verb form
it didn’t
show examples
 have medical equipment scan
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
CT
Fix the agreement mistake
CTs
show examples
,ultrasounds,MRT..
etc
Correct your spelling
etc.
. as well
medical
Correct word choice
as medical
show examples
 staff
also
lack of
Wrong verb form
lacked
show examples
 knowledge about the equipment.
However
,
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 faced
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication barriers.
Due to
,
this
 period automation facilities
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 paramount low level..
Therefore
, the above I mention past
era
 society lived
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
the difficult
show examples
 environment
On the other hand
, I would like to compare with past
era
 medical sector conditions and at
this
 moment condition.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 current situation when we are sick
does
Wrong verb form
we do
show examples
 not want to worry. Only we want to meet a doctor
.after
Correct your spelling
After
 that he will do everything. scan, blood test, urine test, body
checked
Replace the word
check
show examples
..etc.
Rephrase
Similarly
show examples
likewise
Add a comma
,likewise
show examples
 doctors are doing everything within
one
day
due to
this
era
 automation factor is more improved.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
wasn’t
Verb problem
didn’t
show examples
 die
according to
 the illness comparison in past decades. Apart
from
Correct pronoun usage
thisfrom
show examples
,
this
 period doesn’t have
communications
Change the noun form
communication
show examples
 barriers. Whatever
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to communicate anywhere within
one
 second .at
this
 moment folk are living luxury
life
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 every
one
say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
this
time
 is the best to be living.
To conclude
, everybody likes to live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
happy
Change the word
happily
show examples
 without barrios.
Although
, most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 folks lived with unhappy moments in
days
Correct article usage
the days
show examples
 of old.
Nevertheless
, nowadays, everybody is living
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 good conditions.
Therefore
, I put forward,
someone
Correct word choice
that someone
show examples
say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
this
 period is the best
time
 to be living. .
Submitted by himalhi.deepthi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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