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Band 5.5

Some people say that olympic games do not have any role to play in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #olympic #games #role #society
Sports uplift the standard of health, wealth and good relationships. Presently, roughly masses assert that the
Olympic
games
 are worthless to be organized by a nation. Here, I would like to discord with the given statement. There are manifold points to support my point of view, first and foremost, the
Olympic
games
 are major sources for talented players to earn name and fame
along with
 money.
Thus
, they will not get glorify the name of their family
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 set the prestige reputation of their country.
Besides
this
, players can lead a standard lifestyle with a hefty sum of money earned through prizes.
Furthermore
 emphasizing in my point of view, today's masses are fully dependent on gadgets. The
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
games
 provide a platform for social communication by interacting with citizens of different nations.
Thus
, they become sociable.
Moreover
, sports help to boost the economy of the nation through
travel
Correct article usage
the travel
show examples
 and tourism of players from distinct countries. Research has shown that 30% of the economy is boosted with the help of the
Olympic
games
.
In addition
 to
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
, the masses do not have time for themselves as they are busy earning their bread and butter. So, the
Olympic
games
 give them a good opportunity to spend some time with their family and they can create some memories together. To recapitulate, I firmly believe that children get many gadgets regarding sports like tennis, badminton, football, volleyball, rugby, and many more
games
. So, they get vast their area of knowledge in the field of the
Olympic
games
.
Submitted by shams.aliyeva on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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