Some people believe that schools should reward those students who show excellent academic performance while some believe that only the ones who show significant improvement in the grades should be rewarded. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
is a debatable
issues
Change the noun form
issue
show examples
among people
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
wthether
Correct your spelling
whether
rewards should be given to
students
Use synonyms
who are excellent
acedemic
Correct your spelling
academic
performers or those who
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
significant improvement in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
grades. Prior to giving any opinion, I shall be expatiating both the point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
in the upcoming paragraphs. The part of society who are of the opinion that the pupils showing the differentiating results would be awarded for their efforts have their own
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, rewards to toppers will motivate the other children to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
Correct article usage
an efforts
show examples
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
and score well in their studies. Because reward is one of the biggest motivating
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
for every individual. When the prices are given to
students
Use synonyms
who topped
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their exams it will create a sense of achievement for those who received the awards and
secondly
Linking Words
, it will
also
Linking Words
create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy competition between
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of the class to work hard
for earning
Change preposition
to earn
show examples
that
price
Correct your spelling
prize
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the ones who are of the thought that the
students
Use synonyms
who are improving in their grades should be rewarded have their own reasons. The main reason is that
while
Linking Words
awarding on the small
acheivements
Correct your spelling
achievements
helps them to show the excellent results in future. Another reason is that there can be always one topper and
therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
will benefit one small group of
students
Use synonyms
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
the ones who
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
motivating
Replace the word
motivation
show examples
to do better.
To conclude
Linking Words
, people's
opnions
Correct your spelling
opinions
may vary, but I am of the opinion that the good performer should be rewarded but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small rewards should be given to those who are improving in their scores.
This
Linking Words
not only
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
the brighter
students
Use synonyms
to perform
good
Change the word
well
show examples
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
it
also
Linking Words
helps to push the
students
Use synonyms
who are average at their studies.
Submitted by caashishgoyal96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic performance
  • excellent academic performance
  • significant improvement
  • motivates
  • aspires
  • intelligence
  • hard work
  • dedication
  • competitive spirit
  • academic success
  • struggle academically
  • perseverance
  • innate ability
  • confidence
  • valued
  • growth mindset
  • inclusive environment
  • holistic education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: