IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

#countries #government #prioritizes #growth #concerns
In many countries, the administration prioritises economic growth over other concerns.
While
 an increase in employment is the biggest gain, I feel that a rise in inflation is a significant drawback The increase in job possibilities is one obvious effect of authorities favouring economic growth.
As a result
, demand for products and services rises, driving businesses to spend
massive
Add an article
a massive
show examples
 proportion of money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their staff in order to satisfy these increased demands on time.
For instance
, India's economy increased by 12.6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2018, resulting in the creation of 1.2 million new employment across the country the following year.
However
, I believe that a strong economy can lead to higher commodity prices. The "economy-first" strategy has a major flaw: it leads to a higher cost of living. It leads to a growth in the demand for products and services,
as well as
 the expansion of the supply chain. When demand outpaces supply, prices for all items rise, causing real hardship for low-income individuals.
For example
, Russia's stock market has exploded
this
 year
as a result
 of the president's initiatives,
while
 poverty is at an all-time high. Poverty, I feel, is a serious problem that may be the direct cause of many deaths from famine. In conclusion,
although
 industrial expansion provides more jobs, I believe it
also
 reduces people’s
overall
 income.
Therefore
, it is crucial for nations, as a social responsibility, to push the economy ahead with diligent care.
Submitted by vyshu.bakkiam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritizes
  • economic growth
  • employment opportunities
  • public services
  • tax revenues
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental degradation
  • industrial expansion
  • income inequality
  • wealth accrues
  • neglect
  • social issues
  • metrics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: