IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the years 2000-2008 intended to stay in the UK. And the pie chart shows reasons for migration in 2008.

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the years 2000-2008 intended to stay in the UK. And the pie chart shows reasons for migration in 2008.
#information #migration #uk #immigrants #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates immigrants intend how many
years
Use synonyms
 to stay between 2000 and 2008 and the pie chart indicates why they want to go as a percentage in the UK in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the people who migrate to the UK give the biggest reasons
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 work and study.
Also
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
intended
Correct article usage
the intended
show examples
 length of stay increased
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 up to 2 and 2 to 4
years
Use synonyms
. Looking at the line figure first, immigrants who intend to stay over 2
years
Use synonyms
 increased with time, it started at 150 thousand in the year 2000, and
then
Linking Words
 rose steadily
250000
Change preposition
to 250000
show examples
 by 2004 , before remaining at the same level
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
However
Linking Words
, humans who
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 from 2 to 4
years
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
50000
Correct your spelling
50,000
 at the beginning, after which they remained at the same level over seven
years
Use synonyms
 to reach approximately 1 million in the final year. The other category had a fluctuation at 150000. In
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie
show examples
 chart, work and study were the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
largest segment for migration, which together accounted for 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. they followed by
accompany
Change the verb form
accompanying
show examples
 family, it experienced 16%. Other reasons witnessed 14%.
Submitted by frkts56 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: