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Band 2.5

the best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. do you agree or disagree ?

#country #future #people
There is increasing debate over the concern that youngsters
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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play a
vtal
Correct your spelling
vital
 role in the development of the nation.
While
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 acknowledge that
country’s
Correct article usage
a country’s
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 fate should be the responsibility of the adults,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe that the future of a country must be undertaken by the youth. On the one hand, it is indisputable that youngsters' intelligence and work of the youth will take the country on the pathway
of
Change preposition
to
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 success. The first reason would be that society is
requiring
Wrong verb form
required
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 to adapt
the
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to the
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 development of the world.
This
 is by dint of
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 desire
the
Change preposition
for the
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 growing of political, economic or technology which leads to a next generation leaders, innovators and inventors who are supported and provided better health, training and education to transform the future . Another supporting reason would be that youth have better soft skills and parental care and monitoring, which brings about
the
Correct article usage
a
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 large number of young people who become
responible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 citizens in the future.
For instance
, Recently, Vietnamese students have a chance to attend the "Children Nation Assembly" mock session to promote their participation in
political
Replace the word
politics
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. On the larger scale, youngsters are the backbone of every nation's building, chief among which is the success of almost
countries
Correct determiner usage
all countries
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 depends on the working-age population, education and health.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • entrepreneurship
  • mentorship
  • economic diversification
  • civic engagement
  • leadership training
  • cultural exchange
  • interconnected world
  • robust curriculum
  • hands-on skills
  • job-ready
  • self-reliance
  • physically and mentally healthy
  • active participants
  • global understanding
  • stimulate
What to do next:
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