Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To work extent do you agree?

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Creators are one of the most important and integral
part
Change to a plural noun
parts

The singular countable noun part follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of
country
Add an article
the country

The noun phrase country seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. It is believed by
few
Correct article usage
a few

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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individuals that,
artists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income

It appears that low income is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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earners and
government
Correct article usage
the government

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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must fund
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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run their work. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

notion to
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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significant extent, and in the following essay, I will shed light on my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint

The word view point seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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. To embark on,
art work
Correct your spelling
artwork

The word art work seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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come
Change the verb form
comes

The verb come does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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from talent and it must appreciated through monetary in order to sustain their job. To explain it
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In order to produce something requires minimum investment to source the required material,
without
Correct word choice
and without

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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proper funding it is been very difficult to manage their work.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a painter needs basic materials to make painting and a musician needs equipment to produce music.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In support of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

government always
runs
Verb problem
provides

There may be a verb use issue here.

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financial assistance for veteran
Artists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the arts
from
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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artists
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

helps
Change the verb form
help

The singular verb helps does not appear to agree with the plural subject arts. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to reduce crime and increase social cohesion
among
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the community. To
elaborated
Change the form of the verb
elaborate

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb elaborated. Consider changing it.

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, art is a mode of communication to communicate positive thoughts and beliefs to citizens. Things which cannot able to
explain
Wrong verb form
explained

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb explain. Consider changing it.

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, art expresses to control person to do illegal activities as well.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, On India’s 75th Independence
day
Capitalize word
Day

The word day should be capitalized in this context.

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, various painters painted
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun walls in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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city walls with pictures of freedom fighters who contributed towards
countries
Replace the word
the country's

The word countries doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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freedom, and more than hundreds of musicians performed on national
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs

It seems that song may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
performers
Change noun form
performers'
performer's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions

It seems that contribution may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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create
significant
Correct article usage
a significant

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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impact globally. I believe that, In order to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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civic participation as well
to
Correct word choice
as to

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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control unlawful
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts

It seems that act may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, all of which point to the economic benefits ministry must seriously pay to
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

artists
Change noun form
artists'
artist's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
growth and maintenance.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the structure and organization of your essay to develop a clearer progression of ideas. Use topic sentences and transitions to connect your ideas more effectively.
task response
Your response needs to fully address the task. Make sure to provide a clear position and support it with relevant examples and explanations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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