In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To achieve
Change the verb form
Achieving
show examples
success
Use synonyms
is not an easy task and it always needs consistent efforts
grab
Add the particle
to grab
show examples
it. Since
childhood
Add a comma
childhood,
show examples
we have been often told that we can achieve what we want to be if we attempt with complete dedication of
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
we are going to discuss
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of giving
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
comments to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children. Every
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
expects their child
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to be as successful and achieve a significant milestone in their
life
Use synonyms
. To elaborate more, As
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
parents always pass positive thoughts to our children
since
Correct word choice
when
show examples
they
born
Add a missing verb
are born
show examples
and as soon as they start growing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
positive thoughts always encourage children to explore their
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
and
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
of interest. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, In India
well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
known
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
such
Linking Words
as scientist Abdul Kalam, Prime
minister
Capitalize word
Minister
show examples
Narendra Modi and cricketer Sachin Tendulkar explored their interest at
early
Add an article
an early
the early
show examples
stage of
life
Use synonyms
and
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieved
show examples
success
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their field.
By giving
Change preposition
Giving
show examples
such
Linking Words
messages,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to adverse effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
child’s
life
Use synonyms
as well. To make it more clear, may possible some
child
Wrong verb form
children are
show examples
pushed to be as per their
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
choice, but may not like to be what they want.
Still
Add a comma
Still,
show examples
the child may drag
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
else dream on their own
life
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
to that, Once they realize some
time
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
very late for them to put another effort for exactly
they
Correct pronoun usage
what they
show examples
want to be. To share an example, famous author Chetan
bhagat
Capitalize word
Bhagat
show examples
,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
achieved
success
Use synonyms
as a famous book author
instead
Linking Words
of an engineer. In conclusion,
Success
Use synonyms
builds
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on the ground of stages of hard work, but for that efforts
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
to
strong
Add a missing verb
be strong
show examples
enough. By giving
this
Linking Words
message always seen as more favorable
over
Change preposition
for
show examples
children’s
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by maheshluhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: