IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart illustrates average
families
Use synonyms
' expenditures based on their income per week in eight different categories over a 20-year period. As an overview, most
families
Use synonyms
' expense proportion in 1968 belongs to payments for food.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 country,
families
Use synonyms
 spent on leisure most among other categories in 2018.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest rate of expenditure of
families
Use synonyms
 belonged to the fuel and power expenses in 2014,
this
Linking Words
 category remained the least popular and its
percentage
Use synonyms
 fell in 2018. As it can be observable, spending
money
Use synonyms
 on food was very popular among
families
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the time period and they spent 35% of their weekly income on it.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 category lost its popularity by having approximately 17% of their remuneration, and spending
money
Use synonyms
 on leisure became more interesting among
families
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 category experienced close to a 15% increase in its
percentage
Use synonyms
 over the given time span.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 spent by these groups of society increased significantly on payments to Transport with nearly 14% and Housing 18% growth in the
percentage
Use synonyms
 number of their expenditure in 2018.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
families
Use synonyms
 spent less of their weekly incomes on Fuel power, Clothing and footwear and personal goods and these categories achieved approximately 6%, 5%,and 6% of their expenses respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the rate of the
money
Use synonyms
 that was spent by these
families
Use synonyms
 remains steady at roughly 7% of their income.
Submitted by hedoyeraisy on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words families, percentage, money with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
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