IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #temperatures #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the given line graph depicts information about the temperatures of three major cities at different months of the year.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is quite evident from the line graph, that the
Use synonyms
temprature
Correct your spelling
temperature
 in Paris and Dubai is 5
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
 and 18
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
 in the
month
Use synonyms
 of January respectively.
Then
Linking Words
 it shows a gradual increase in
Use synonyms
temprature
Correct your spelling
temperature up to
upto
Use synonyms
 the
month
Use synonyms
 of July in these cities and reaches
Use synonyms
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 20 and 35 respectively. Later on, a slight increase in
Use synonyms
temprature
Correct your spelling
temperature
temperatures
 in Dubai can be seen between July to August but
Paris
Change noun form
Paris's
Pari's
show examples
Use synonyms
temprature
Correct your spelling
temperature
 remains levelled off. After that, there is a gradual decrease which is clearly seen
Use synonyms
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 December for both of these cities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the temprature
show examples
temprature
Correct your spelling
temperature
temperatures
 in Sydney is around 24 degrees
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
 in the
month
Use synonyms
 of January and
then
Linking Words
 it decreases moderately and reaches
Use synonyms
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 13 degrees
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
 in the
month
Use synonyms
 of July. After that, it increases again gradually and reaches
Use synonyms
upto 23-degree
Correct your spelling
up to 23 degrees
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
.
overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the temprature
show examples
temprature
Correct your spelling
temperature
 of Paris and Dubai shows the same trend in the given time period but Sydney is the converse of it.
Submitted by engr.anees752 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words temprature, celsius, month, upto with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly temperature
  • major cities
  • trends
  • temperature changes
  • comparisons
  • yearly pattern
  • geographical location
  • climate zones
  • significant variations
  • notable differences
  • peak temperatures
  • lowest temperatures
  • fluctuations
  • seasonal changes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: