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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.
#data #railway #systems #six #cities #date #kilometres #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given table represents information about six different towns with a number of visitors and where they opened between 1863 and 2001 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, in half of the places the number of
passengers
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 was quite good ,
however
Linking Words
 in others the number did not exceed 150
million
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. It can be clearly seen that the megapolis London which opened in 1863 had the highest
kilometres
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 of
route
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, it is 394 with 774
million
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passengers
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the metropolis Kyoto which realised in 1981 had the lowest
kilometres
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 of
route
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,
furthermore
Linking Words
 the minimum quantity of humans, which was 45
million
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. It could be noticed that the two cities Kyoto and Los Angeles in
kilometres
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 of the
route
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 did not reach 30 in each other ,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 both in sum did not exceed in numbers of
passengers
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 100
million
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. In the year ,1900 Paris and 1927 Tokyo
also
Linking Words
 saw that both cities had the biggest quantity of people in sum just over 3000
million
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 people. It is interesting to note that Washington DC which was realised in 1976 year had a medium quantity of
passengers
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 and
kilometres
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 of
route
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, which was 126 km and 144
million
Use synonyms
 humanity.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words passengers, million, kilometres, route with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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