The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words
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The bar graph shows the results of a survey which was conducted by a company and gives data on the important factors that determine the
work
performance
of employees
.
Overall
, it is clear that
young people’s motivation for their work
performance
is primarily driven by opportunities for personal growth, a laid-back work
environment
, opportunities for promotion, and salary, whereas
for older workers, motivation is primarily driven by money, a competent boss, and a sense of teamwork.
To start with, more than 80% of the
young Correct article usage
apply
employees
rank the “chance for personal development” as the most critical element in determining what makes for better work
performance
. Three additional crucial elements for this
age group’s success are a laid-back work
environment
, the possibility of advancement, and money. The working environment
, job security, and respect from coworkers are listed as the least important performance
factors by the youthful group of employees
.
Employees
between the ages of 45 and 60, on the other hand
, place a high value on teamwork and finances in terms of performance
-related factors. This
group is least affected by job stability, a laid-back workplace, and the environment
at work
. It’s interesting to note that team spirit (60%), having a competent boss (50%) and job satisfaction (50%), are the issues that are favoured by the same number of employees
in both age groups.Submitted by dungcbn on
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, performance, employees, environment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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