Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In these present days, some kind of people
think
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thinks
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that reading stories from
books
is better than watching TV and Playing PC games for
infent
Correct your spelling
infant
. Personally, I support the idea that
scion
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Scion
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should read
bill
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bills
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more than
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
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programs. In fact, more than half a percentage of the
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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world into
PC
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PCs
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or modern smartphones
instead
of
books
. Games ,
as well as
programs
Add the comma(s)
programs,
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has
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have
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many benefits for children
for instance
they can learn more about tools which are needed in their life. Are Computers not only beneficial but
also
harmful for
children
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children's
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health
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Because between 6 and 12 children should be in healthy zone games could influence their psychology. Generally, there are several reasons why I believe that juniors should focus on reading stories from a paper. Their ideas
hugged
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are hugged
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day by day,
for instance
whenever
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
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are
read
Wrong verb form
reading
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record
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records
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their mind works fastest
due to
that
degrees
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degree
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heir can easily learn languages or new skills and
then
books
sharpes their mental focus at the same time.
To sum up
, with
books
our offspring can manipulate the brain. I agree with
this
topic.
Submitted by @ur_davrik on

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing ideas in a more coherent manner. Introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and cohesive. Supporting points and ideas need to be more connected and supported.
task achievement
Adequate response to the task with clear and relevant ideas. However, the essay lacks depth and needs more comprehensive development of the arguments.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Imagination
  • Visualization
  • Complex vocabulary
  • Sentence structure
  • Focus
  • Concentration
  • Passive activity
  • Interactive activity
  • Gratification
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Cultural perspective
  • Historical perspective
  • Attention span
  • Educational enrichment
  • Cognitive development
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