Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #book #tv #computer #games #children

In these present days, some kind of people

think

Change the verb form

thinks

show examples

that reading stories from

books

is better than watching TV and Playing PC games for

infent

Correct your spelling

infant

. Personally, I support the idea that

scion

Capitalize word

Scion

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should read

bill

Fix the agreement mistake

bills

show examples

more than

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

programs. In fact, more than half a percentage of the

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

world into

Fix the agreement mistake

PCs

show examples

or modern smartphones

instead

books

. Games ,

as well as

programs

Add the comma(s)

programs,

show examples

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

many benefits for children

for instance

they can learn more about tools which are needed in their life. Are Computers not only beneficial but

also

harmful for

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

health

Change the punctuation

show examples

Because between 6 and 12 children should be in healthy zone games could influence their psychology. Generally, there are several reasons why I believe that juniors should focus on reading stories from a paper. Their ideas

hugged

Add a missing verb

are hugged

show examples

day by day,

for instance

whenever

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are

read

Wrong verb form

reading

show examples

record

Fix the agreement mistake

records

show examples

their mind works fastest

due to

that

degrees

Fix the agreement mistake

degree

show examples

heir can easily learn languages or new skills and

then

books

sharpes their mental focus at the same time.

To sum up

, with

books

our offspring can manipulate the brain. I agree with

this

topic.

Submitted by @ur_davrik on Sat Sep 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve logical structure by organizing ideas in a more coherent manner. Introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and cohesive. Supporting points and ideas need to be more connected and supported.

task achievement

Adequate response to the task with clear and relevant ideas. However, the essay lacks depth and needs more comprehensive development of the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

184 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people buy local food?

Robot and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. why is this happening? do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual's responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The cultures of many countries around the world becomes more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons for this trend? Is it positive or negative?

Many people make friends through social sites and chat rooms. Others believe that it is not a good idea to make friends without meeting them face to face. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and relevant examples.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+