IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In The Past Parents Often Made The Decision On Their Children’s Future Career.

In the early stages of
the
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apply
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history, it was totally believed that juveniles should develop themselves in a certain way, which is decided by their
parents
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. In my point of view,
this
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 idea is
old – fashioned
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old–fashioned
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 and no longer appropriate in the flow of the modern era because the young generation can’t unlock their potential if it’s not their favourite.
Initially
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,
parents
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 clearly experienced
life
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 more than their younger generation, so when talking about vital decisions in
life
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, they should play an irreplaceable role.
Also
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, the responsibility of fathers and mothers is to control the behaviours of their
child
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children
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, in order to make them the better and more responsible
person
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people
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 in
the
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apply
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society.
In contrast
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, as I said, people always shine when they are put into their passion or their abilities.
For example
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, a child who is highly talented in singing shouldn’t become a worker or an officer, because it’s a total waste.
As a result
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,
parents
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 should let their son or daughter find their path of
career
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careers
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 on their own.
Besides
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, each person in the world
have
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has
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 their own
life
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, so if the guardians choose something not suitable for their children, isn’t it disrespectful to the youngsters? Whether
they
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arethey
werethey
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 successful or not, it’s still the child’s
life
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, not their creators’.
Therefore
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,
instead
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 of deciding everything
in
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about
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juvenile’s
Correct article usage
a juvenile’s
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 future,
parents
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 should only give them some
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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,
experiences
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and experiences
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,
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apply
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 so that their children are able to avoid mistakes and no sooner or later, their rapid advancement will appear. In conclusion,
parents
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 used to decide everything,
do
Correct word choice
and do
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 what they think is relevant and favourable for their juveniles’ future, but nowadays, the current standards of
life
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has
Change the verb form
have
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 proved that the idea isn’t correct anymore.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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