The chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.
The diagram demonstrates the expenses on consumer goods by two different nations in the year 2010. It is immediately apparent that the United
Kingdom
spent extra money on more items than
France
did. Cars were by far the commodity that both countries spent much on. Whilst the United
Kingdom
spent 450,000 pounds Sterling on cars,
France
paid 50,000 less of the amount used by the United
Kingdom
at 400,000 pounds sterling.
Similarly
, books and cameras were purchased in the United
Kingdom
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
in
France
. Whilst a little over 350,000 was used for cameras in the United
Kingdom
, a little less than half of
this
amount was spent on cameras in
France
.
However
, computers and perfumes were patronised more in
France
than in the United
Kingdom
at 380,000 and 200,000 pounds Sterling respectively. Meanwhile, 350,000 and 140, 000 were used on computers and perfumes in the United
Kingdom
.
Submitted by nmaureen03 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words kingdom, france with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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