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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given chart illustrates how
Anthropology
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
graduates'
Change noun form
graduates
show examples
 students from
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
 university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course,
while
Linking Words
 the table provides the salaries of the anthropologists
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 after five years.
Overtime
Correct your spelling
Over time
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, a general trend half of
anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 for
a full-time
Remove the article
full-time work
a full-time job
show examples
work
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 government sector employment is the highest salaries
anthropology
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graduates
Use synonyms
 average after 5 years of working. As can be seen, graduate students' destination from one university 52% went for full-time.
work
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 job it's 15%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
unfortunately
Add a comma
,unfortunately
show examples
 12% and 8%
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 are unemployed
also
Linking Words
 not know.
However
Linking Words
, it's
know
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
 working during studies could be difficult, so the rates of full-time postgrad study and
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 postgrad study
wasn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
weren't
show examples
 that high enough.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the amount salaries of
anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 after 5 years'
work
Use synonyms
 there are three types of employment; government sector 50% achieve 100,000$+.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Change preposition
of freelance
show examples
freelance
Change preposition
of freelance
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 consultants 40% are taking 100,000$+.
Finally
Linking Words
, private companies are the lowest only 30% achieve 100,000$+.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words anthropology, graduates, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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