IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart provides information on spending on goods consumption in
France
Use synonyms
 and the UK in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
cars
Use synonyms
 were the most popular
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 in both countries. For
France
Use synonyms
, 400 thousand pounds on
cars
Use synonyms
 were spent that year.
This
Linking Words
 figure was two times more than the number of sold perfume. As for the other categories, the second and third most costly consumption were computers and books, 375 and 300 thousand respectively. The number of cameras was the least allocated ( 150,000). For the UK , in comparison with
France
Use synonyms
, the expenditure on
cars
Use synonyms
 was higher by approximately 50 thousand pounds.
In addition
Linking Words
, the amount of money spent on the cameras was double, with over 350,000 pounds. The figure spent on perfume reached the lowest point (approximately 140,000).
To sum up
Linking Words
, British people spent more money than in
France
Use synonyms
 on all goods. The highest category for both countries was
cars
Use synonyms
 and the lowest was perfume.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words france, cars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: