IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

many people work long hours . leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages ?

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Hobbies are very important for an individual to lead a fulfilling life. The question of whether working long
hours
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 is beneficial for
people
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 has sparked a huge debate. As every coin has both sides , the current situation which is very common among youngsters has its own pros and cons.
This
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 essay will discuss
on
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apply
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both the issues and provide my final view. On the one hand, there are quite a number of
people
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 who are
workaholic
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workaholics
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. They love spending their
time
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 working and contributing something to the organization.
Consequently
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, they are rewarded with
self satisfaction
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self-satisfaction
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 and immense respect from their colleagues.
For instance
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, I had a colleague of mine , who was extremely good at his tasks and worked longer
hours
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. He is a software engineer and because of his hard work and commitment , he has become the director of our company at a very stage. He now leads a lavish life and helps a lot of poor
people
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.
This
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 shows that spending longer
hours
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 at work is not bad
instead
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, it elevates your position in the corporate world at an early stage.
On the other hand
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, there is a section of
people
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, who require leisure activities to help them destress and detox themselves.
Furthermore
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 , it helps them escape
form
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from
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 the problems and
polictics
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politics
 of office.
For example
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, I am
software
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a software
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 engineer by profession and I
am learn
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am learning
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 classical music to enjoy my spare
time
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. Music has helped me heal my soul and saved me from depression.
Additionally
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, I travel a lot and
this
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 helps me detox my mind and I get to meet many new kinds of
people
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. The above free
time
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 work
ahd
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has
 helped me perform better at contribute my best to the organization.
To conclude
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,
Its
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It's
it is
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 very important to say that working extra
hours
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 has its own advantages and disadvantages and it depends on
an
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the
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 individual. But, I strongly believe that free
time
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 tasks should be done to help you
decluster
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declutter
 your head and think straight.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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