The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas.

The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas.
The bar chart depicts the increase in the
population
in some of the world's biggest cities
as well as
the
population
distribution in urban and rural areas.
Overall
, it is noticeable that the
population
in Tokyo was the highest in 2010,
while
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
of
Jakarta
Change noun form
Jakarta's
show examples
lowest in 1970.
Furthermore
, there was a significant increase in Tokyo, Shanghai, Bombay, Jakarta,
whereas
New York maintained the same level throughout the period.
To begin
with, Tokyo accounted for over 15 in 1970 which was increased to 27 roughly in 2010 and had the largest
population
in the final years. The figure for Bombay, it had namely 5 ,
therefore
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
rose to 12 before going up to over 25 in 2010. In terms of New York and Shanghai, they
shared
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
similar numbers , namely under 15 and over 15 before Shanghai rose gradually to over 20 in 2010. With regards to Jakarta, it obtained approximately 3 which increased to under 10 in 1990 before rising to under 20 in 2010.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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