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Writing Samples
Band 5

The map below is of the town of Canterbury. A new school (S) is planned for the area. The map shows two possible sites for the school.

The map below is of the town of Canterbury. A new school (S) is planned for the area. The map shows two possible sites for the school.
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The map illustrates two possible areas that are S1 and S2 for building a new
school
Use synonyms
 in Canterbury.
Overall
Linking Words
, S2 would be the best area to build the
school
Use synonyms
, Because of some convenience for the folks.
To begin
Linking Words
, the popular town has a huge number of
people
Use synonyms
 around the location. It has a population of 7,000 in the North-East.
In addition
Linking Words
, over 4,500
people
Use synonyms
 live in the South-West. The
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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main road is located at the
centre
Use synonyms
 of the area, which goes 5 km to Sturry in the North-East and 7 km to Chartham in the corner of the South-West.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the North location Contains a university,
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
looking
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing, which has a large population. The town
centre
Use synonyms
 is located in the
centre
Use synonyms
 of Canterbury, there is no traffic zone. S1 is located out of the housing unit.
This
Linking Words
 plan is not comfortable for those who are living far
along
Rephrase
away
show examples
 from the
school
Use synonyms
. S2 is located in the
centre
Use synonyms
 of the town,it is comfortable for all the
people
Use synonyms
 around the
school
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the S2 area has a lot of convenience for
people
Use synonyms
, they can easily drop off and pick up their children
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
school
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, people, centre with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • contrast
  • location
  • accessibility
  • residential areas
  • facilities
  • traffic
  • transportation
  • environment
  • cost
  • feasibility
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