Some people think that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing contribute more towards a child's overall development. The school curriculum should provide more time for these subjects to be taught if the school wants the all-round development of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is a very debatable topic
now-a-days
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nowadays
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that
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apply
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whether more
time
should be provided to
children
for
extra curricular
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extracurricular
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activies
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activities
or not. A part of society is in
favor
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favour
show examples
of providing more
time
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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are against
of
Change preposition
apply
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this
subject. Prior to furnishing any opinion, I shall be expatiating both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
points of
views
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view
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in the upcoming paragraphs. The ones who are in
favor
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favour
show examples
that schools should spare more
time
for additional activities like arts, music, drama, etcetera have their own views.
Firslty
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Firstly
, these
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
should provide a break
to
Change preposition
for
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the students from their
acedemics
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academic
academics
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
This
helps to increase their output, as they feel more relaxed and refreshed if they have 2-3 lectures for these activities during the day.
Moreover
, by giving exposure to young ones they will get a chance to choose their career as per their interest.
For example
, many students in the school are choosing arts as their main area of career and following their passion.
On the other hand
, the people who are against
this
view point
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viewpoint
show examples
have their own reasons. The main reason is that pupils make an excuse to run from
studies
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their studies
show examples
. If
children
gets
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get
show examples
more involved in
the
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apply
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co-curricular activities they will try to avoid
the
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apply
show examples
acedemic
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academic
studies
and by giving reason
for instance
, that we have
an
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a
show examples
drama practice class, they will enjoy their period as free. Another reason is that, at a young age mentees are not in a position to
take
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make
show examples
their decisions well and may waste their
time
by neither doing
studies
nor being aware
about
Change the preposition
of
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their
actually
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actual
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interest
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interests
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.
Due to
this
Add a comma
,this
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they will feel depressed and
embarresed
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embarrassed
in future when
few
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a few
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of their friends
acheived
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achieved
achieve
something in life and they have not done anything.
To conclude
, though people have many reasons to support both the
view points
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viewpoints
show examples
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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I am of the opinion that schools should provide
time
for extra-curricular
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
but not in excess.
Because more
Correct word choice
More
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involvement in these gives
children
a way to run from
studies
and
children
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
might
take
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make
show examples
inappropriate decisions related to their careers.
Submitted by caashishgoyal96 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive skills
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Creative thinking
  • All-round development
  • Holistic approach
  • Curriculum enhancement
  • Innovative thinking
  • Emotional expression
  • Social skills
  • Cultural awareness
  • Critical thinking
  • Interdisciplinary learning
  • Balanced growth
  • Artistic endeavors
  • Experimental learning
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