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Band 4

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels od sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #od #sugar #health #people
Nowadays, a lot of drinks and food
products
 contain high levels of
sugar
 which might badly
impacted
Change the verb form
impact
be impacted
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
products
 with
sugar
 should be not cheap and encourage
people
co
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
use
 less
sugar
. I strongly agree with
this
 opinion because it can prevent economic
issues
 and help
people
 to overcome disease. One of the widely discussed
issues
 nowadays is sugary
products
 which
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 more expensive to encourage
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 to
use
 less them
due to
 the fact that every year the
quanity
Correct your spelling
quantity
quality
 of sugary
products
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 because of
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
As a result
, all
population
 of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 can die,
therefore
 to prevent it consumers should try
to do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
 them. For
Correct your spelling
instance
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, one of the most popular country
Africa
Change preposition
in Africa
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 nowadays
suffer
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffers
show examples
 from starvation because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of food and
sugar
products
. Recent research found that all
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 of the
world
 might suffer from starvation like
Africa
Change preposition
in Africa
show examples
 if they do not make
products
 namely
sugar
 more expensive. Another reason is that in today's
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 most
people
 struggle with diseases
which link
Wrong verb form
that are linked
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
sugar
 problems.
Moreover
,
this
Change the determiner
this person
these people
show examples
people
 always want to eat or drink things which contains
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 level of
sugar
 because their organism requires it ,
therefore
people
 go to the markets to buy sugary
products
.
However
, the high cost of
products
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not allow
people
 to buy them because
people
 do not have a stable income to buy it.
For instance
, if sugary
products
cost
Verb problem
are
show examples
 cheap, the majority of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 who have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
an issue
issues
show examples
issues
 with health will buy them.
As a result
, they might die because of the high level of
sugar
 which
contains
Wrong verb form
is contained
show examples
 there.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Arizona University showed in their statistics that over half of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 who did not
use
 sugary
products
 were prevented from death. In conclusion,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
world
 might be prevented from economic
issues
 if sugary
products
will be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 cost expensive and
people
 who struggle with diseases
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 overcome
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
due to
 the fact that sugary
products
 will make our life more disciple.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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