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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when traveling…) Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

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The development of
information
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technology
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 is giving a chance to
work
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 outside the
office
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such
Linking Words
 as
work
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 from home or when traveling. I personally think these benefits outweigh the
drawbacks
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although
Linking Words
 there are some
drawbacks
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 that need to be
concerned
Verb problem
considered
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. On one hand, working outside the
office
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 by using
information
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technology
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 has some disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as increasing loneliness and distraction.
People
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 who
work
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 from the
office
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 usually have a social circle that gives
Correct pronoun usage
them their
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their
Change the word
the
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 energy to
work
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 harder.
In contrast
Linking Words
, when they
work
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 from home they easily feel lonely or get bored because they
are solely face
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solely face
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 on screen and they do not have friends to joke with or just to share the boredom.
In addition
Linking Words
, when
people
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 have to
work
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 when they are
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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, they have a lot of distractions
such
Linking Words
 as getting
notification
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notifications
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 from social media that they are likely to check on it
instead
Linking Words
 of working.
This
Linking Words
 situation absolutely makes
people
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 lose a lot of concentration.
Thus
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, all these
drawbacks
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 will prevent
people
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 from working effectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 huge benefits from using
technology
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information
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 to
work
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 outside the
office
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such
Linking Words
 as saving more time and money and giving
work
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 flexibility.
People
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 can save more time and money since they do not need to commute.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
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 only need to open their laptop, connected to the internet and they have instant access to their
work
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;
people
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Add a missing verb
do no
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no
Correct your spelling
not
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 need to waste their money and time on the way from their home to
office
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. Another advantage is giving
people
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 more flexibility to manage or even finish their
work
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.
This
Linking Words
 method is very beneficial because
people
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 can finish their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 anywhere as long as they are connected to the internet. All in all, despite some
drawbacks
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,
information
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technology
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 is helping
people
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 to keep doing their
job
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jobs
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 even though they are not in the
office
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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