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Band 5.5

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when traveling…) Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #technology #people #work #workplace #e #g #home #traveling… #mobility
The development of
information
technology
 is giving a chance to
work
 outside the
office
such
 as
work
 from home or when traveling. I personally think these benefits outweigh the
drawbacks
although
 there are some
drawbacks
 that need to be
concerned
Verb problem
considered
show examples
. On one hand, working outside the
office
 by using
information
technology
 has some disadvantages
such
 as increasing loneliness and distraction.
People
 who
work
 from the
office
 usually have a social circle that gives
Correct pronoun usage
them their
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 energy to
work
 harder.
In contrast
, when they
work
 from home they easily feel lonely or get bored because they
are solely face
Change the verb form
solely face
show examples
 on screen and they do not have friends to joke with or just to share the boredom.
In addition
, when
people
 have to
work
 when they are
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, they have a lot of distractions
such
 as getting
notification
Fix the agreement mistake
notifications
show examples
 from social media that they are likely to check on it
instead
 of working.
This
 situation absolutely makes
people
 lose a lot of concentration.
Thus
, all these
drawbacks
 will prevent
people
 from working effectively.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 huge benefits from using
technology
information
 to
work
 outside the
office
such
 as saving more time and money and giving
work
 flexibility.
People
 can save more time and money since they do not need to commute.
In other words
,
people
 only need to open their laptop, connected to the internet and they have instant access to their
work
;
people
Add a missing verb
do no
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 need to waste their money and time on the way from their home to
office
. Another advantage is giving
people
 more flexibility to manage or even finish their
work
.
This
 method is very beneficial because
people
 can finish their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 anywhere as long as they are connected to the internet. All in all, despite some
drawbacks
,
information
technology
 is helping
people
 to keep doing their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 even though they are not in the
office
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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